Listicle

You did WHAT to my book?!

There are a special breed of humans called book nerds. These are the people who always have a book to recommend to others. The guy who always reads on his commute to work, the girl who sits Indian style on the bookstore floor and sniffs books. The lady who quotes lines, paras even, from a book without batting an eye.

We are the book nerds. We love books more than we can ever love a person. And we will cut you if you commit any of these sins against books you borrowed from us.

[ Related: 9 things you should NEVER say to a bookworm ]

I’m highly against book borrowing/lending. If I lend my book to someone, I do so only after some mildly threatening promises as to what would happen if my book was returned damaged. If you commit any of the following sins, you can surely expect a bitch slap and well placed kick to your business end. (What? I never said I was nice.)

1. Dog-eared pages

200

Dog-earing is bad. Just BAD. Don’t ever do it.

2. Stained pages/cover

2001

I gave you a piece of my soul and you put a freakin’ coffee cup over it? PUT IT ON A SAUCER, PEASANT!

3. Bent cover

2002

Someone did this to my paperback once. Said someone and I don’t talk anymore.

4. Broken spine

2003

And this is why you never lend hardcovers to muggles. What kind of monster does this?

5. The stiff pages state that only a previously wet book could be in.

2004

WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH MY BOOK NEAR A WATER SOURCE?

6. Torn pages

2005

Why did I even give you my book? *muffled screaming*

7. The front cover won’t close properly; keeps flopping open.

2006

I don’t know if this applies to all book nerds, but this is something everyone should know and follow: When you put a paperback down while reading, if you are in the first half of the book, put it face down. If you are in the second half, put it with the face up. This way, the book won’t keep opening by itself and will look like how it did before you got your wretched, peasant hands on it, you monster, you!

 

Phew. Just writing this got me super mad. Are there any book sins I missed out? Or have any of these happened to you? As always, let me know in the comments! πŸ™‚

~ Shruti

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26 thoughts on “You did WHAT to my book?!

  1. Great post and I believe you covered all the book sins πŸ™‚ All these applies to me and these are the reason why I cannot lend my books to anyone. I used to lend my books but every time I did it, I ended up buying a new copy of the book so I am not doing it anymore πŸ™‚

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      1. You can count me in! We can have support group meetings, share tips for keeping our books in mint condition, and practice asking each other to borrow books so we can reinforce our skills at saying “no.” It sounds awesome.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. All of these are so accurate! I am always lending out books because I just can’t say no to people and bent covers and broken spines are the things that get to me the most. I haven’t had the stained pages/cover problem fortunately because that sound infuriating.

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