There are a special breed of humans called book nerds. These are the people who always have a book to recommend to others. The guy who always reads on his commute to work, the girl who sits Indian style on the bookstore floor and sniffs books. The lady who quotes lines, paras even, from a book without batting an eye.
We are the book nerds. We love books more than we can ever love a person. And we will cut you if you commit any of these sins against books you borrowed from us.
[ Related: 9 things you should NEVER say to a bookworm ]
I’m highly against book borrowing/lending. If I lend my book to someone, I do so only after some mildly threatening promises as to what would happen if my book was returned damaged. If you commit any of the following sins, you can surely expect a bitch slap and well placed kick to your business end. (What? I never said I was nice.)
1. Dog-eared pages
Dog-earing is bad. Just BAD. Don’t ever do it.
2. Stained pages/cover
I gave you a piece of my soul and you put a freakin’ coffee cup over it? PUT IT ON A SAUCER, PEASANT!
3. Bent cover
Someone did this to my paperback once. Said someone and I don’t talk anymore.
4. Broken spine
And this is why you never lend hardcovers to muggles. What kind of monster does this?
5. The stiff pages state that only a previously wet book could be in.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH MY BOOK NEAR A WATER SOURCE?
6. Torn pages
Why did I even give you my book? *muffled screaming*
7. The front cover won’t close properly; keeps flopping open.
I don’t know if this applies to all book nerds, but this is something everyone should know and follow: When you put a paperback down while reading, if you are in the first half of the book, put it face down. If you are in the second half, put it with the face up. This way, the book won’t keep opening by itself and will look like how it did before you got your wretched, peasant hands on it, you monster, you!
Phew. Just writing this got me super mad. Are there any book sins I missed out? Or have any of these happened to you? As always, let me know in the comments! 🙂